April 29, 2007

• CLEANIN’ CHICKENS
  
  
  “Late again?,” the third-grade teacher said to little Johnny.
  
  “It ain’t my fault, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this on my Daddy. The
  Reason I’m three hours late is Daddy sleeps naked!”
  
  Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. So
  She asked little Johnny what he meant by that, despite her mounting
  Fears.  Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth,
  Little Johnny and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.
  
  “You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown coyote.
  The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma’s best milk goat.
  And last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he
  Grabbed his gun and said to Ma, “That coyote’s back again, I’m a gonna
  Git him!’”
  
  “Stay back, he yelled to all us kids!”
  
  “He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt. To the hen house
  He crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double
  Barrel through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness,
  With coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and
  Come a sneakin’ up behind Daddy. Then as we all looked on plumb helpless
  Old Zeke took a sniff of Daddy from behind.”
  
  “Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin’ chickens since three o’clock this
  Mornin!”
  

  • 7:10 am
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