Your Not Worthless ••
¤¤ (neither am I) ¤¤


~One Flaw In Women~

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
“Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only ! two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
“Only two hands!? No way!
And that’s just on the standard m odel?
That’s too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested.
“I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
“But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed,
“but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to thin k?”, asked the angel.

The Lord replied,
“Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek.
“Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,”
the Lord corrected,
“that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”
The angel was impressed.
“You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.!
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They a re happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,


IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

The tornado missed my house but really made a mess of Macon County!There are over 300 homes gone just gone by the Tornado. 13 people killed and over 200 injured.I feel like God smiled on me and none of my family were touched in the Tornado; praise God!
  my roof.

The Flying Canoe
retold by
S. E. Schlosser

Long ago, there were a number of lonely lumberjacks working in the center of a very large forest. They cut down mammoth trees and watched them crash into the thick snow in exactly the place where they said the trees would land. They would cut up the trees and haul them hither and thither. They worked hard, Mon Dieu, very hard indeed! But they were lonely for the women they had left behind.

On New Years Day, it snowed so hard no work could be done. The men huddled in their camp and spoke longingly of their home. They passed around the rum and drank toasts to the New Year, but finally Baptiste said what they were all thinking: “I wish to go home today and see my girl!” There were murmurs of agreement, but Jean replied: “How can we go home today? There is more than two meters of snow on the road, and more snow is falling.”

“Who said we were walking out of here?” asked Baptiste. “I am going to paddle out in my canoe.” Now the men all knew that Baptiste had a canoe with paddles out back of the camp. Baptiste had made a pact with the devil. If the devil would make the canoe fly wherever Baptiste wished, the lumberjack would not say Mass for an entire year. However, if Baptiste did not return the canoe before dawn of the day after he used it, the devil could keep his soul. While Baptiste and his companions were in la chasse-gallerie, they could not say the name of God or fly over a church or touch any crosses, or the canoe would crash.

Many of the men refused to participate in Baptiste’s New Years scheme, but he managed to find seven companions to fly with him in the canoe back to their home town to visit their women. Baptiste and his friends got into the canoe, and Baptiste said the magic words: “Acabris! Acabras! Acabram!”

When Baptiste was done binding himself to the devil, the canoe rose into the air and the men began to paddle their way through the sky to their home. Their womenfolk were so glad to see them! They celebrated long into the night, drinking and dancing. It was close to dawn when the men realized they had to return the canoe to the lumber camp by dawn or forfeit their souls. They searched for Baptiste, and found him as drunk as a lord, lying under a table at the inn. They bundled him into the canoe, spoke the magic words, and paddled away. Knowing that Baptiste would start swearing if they woke him, one of the men tied him up and gagged him so he would not speak the name of God at an inopportune moment and crash the canoe.

When Baptiste awoke, he sat up, struggling with the ropes that bound him. He managed to loosen the gag, and shouted: “Mon Dieu, why have you tied me up?”

At the name of God, the canoe took a nose-dive, plunging towards the ground. It hit the top of a large pine tree and all the men tumbled out and fell down, down into the darkness just before dawn. They were never seen again!

You can read more Canadian folktales and ghost stories in Spooky Canada by S.E. Schlosser.